When Haddaway asked us “What is Love?” we felt that. Mostly we felt the synth bass and the beat, but we also herard his words and we nodded along. Yeah, what *was* love? Is it a vampire? A statue you stare longingly at? Your vampire lover’s two friends that are also hanging out for way too long when you’ve clearly given strong hints that they should maybe dance elsewhere? They’re having a good time and Haddaway doesn’t want to ruin the vibe, sure, but he’s had this planned for millennia and it’s not going the way that he thought it would in his head. Maybe he’ll have to go to Plan B. Maybe it’s time to take off the blue suit and get into something more comfortable. Maybe show off the knees a bit. Do vampires even like knees? What would they call that? We spend far too much time figuring that out, but no more! We have an answer for you on that and more!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not getting over the first slang he hears for a thing. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he wants the voting aide to choose the animation that plays.

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I Dream Of Jeannie was a show that meant, for us, that it was time to stop watching shows. It was late night syndication TV and that meant the cartoons were over. They try to tempt you in with colorful cartoon intros but then it goes to real life people? Lame? 2D is all need! Love plots from the 60s and anime from the 80s! It’s all goes into the same brain! My brain! Anyway, enough of that nonsense.. It’s time to watch my Urusei Yatsura stories.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s not telling his parents about Detention until it has a time capsule amount of time away from the incidents! Mr. Johnnnnnnn is your co-host and he also might be dispensing sagely advice as your janitor but not as your math teacher.

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Hey, it’s Hardcastle! AND McCormick?! In one package?! Sign me up! I usually have to go without one or the other because of Hardcastle and McCormick price gouging so having both in one package is a winner for me! Are they cops? Friends? Buddy cop friends? I don’t think so! One’s a judge according to Wikipedia! Steven can fill you in on the rest of the details. Be sure to thank Steven! He refuses to let his Google Digital Self make new episodes of Hardcastle and/or McCormick because he knows he would no longer be in control! He fights for the human race in his own way! Praise Steven!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s renaming all the major productivity suite software. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s a little more correct on the population of Missouri than John is.

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Imagine you’re a frozen pizza. You’re almost there already so this should be easy. It’s pretty great. You chill in a freezer, you preserve yourself and hey you may even be pretty tasty in a pinch! But what if you could rotate for everyone to see? You could be the star of the party! Or the bachelor pad! Or the bachelor in the bachelor pad! Get heated on with the Pizzazz Pizza Cooker! Ignore the stains from what seems to be non-pizza foodstuffs. And hair. And maybe toothpaste? You look at your bachelor’s teeth. You’re not sure if he can consume solid foods. You’re a solid food. You worry. His name is Jarron. He doesn’t own a lamp.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s in charge of the timeclocks that don’t do anything cool physically! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s got a cake to frost later on.

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The magic of life should not be taken for granted, France! You know that just as much as the rest of us! You are born of this earth, live off its riches and die in its dirt just like the rest of us. So why are you giving the false hope of magic hugs that make you become the sun? I always wanted to be to a Sun! A vicious ball of heat and gas and plasma that shines on everyone whether they want it or not (They can live in the habitable zone, I guess.) But no! I can’t be a sun! I can only shine a bright light on someone’s day by my kind words and demeanor! That’s not enough! I want to burn for a million degrees until I burn out and expand and consume the galaxy! Damn you, french animation short! Damn you and your false hope!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s unaware of the badass thing he is doing while outside. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s the reason the hornets are so angry, not the basketball!

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