Year: 2020

I want to tell you about these so-called “humans”, with their so-called “boats”. They dangle…dangle’s the right word right? They dangle worms, the juiciest you’ve ever seen, right down here in our faces. IN OUR FACES! But let me tell you friends, these worms are not what they seem. Oh no, not at all. Not at all. These worms are tricks. Turn around, listen to me, just turn around and swim. SWIM FOR ALL YOU ARE WORTH! Swim, you idiots! Back after these fine sponsors.

This week we watched some fishing show bloopers! These fishing show bloopers, actually. You should too!

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and sees a statue. John Hurst co-hosts and fishes on Twitch.

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What’s your aesthetic? My aesthetic is essentially the Matrix DVD menu: an endlessly looping SD video of overwrought motion graphics hiding special features no one will ever watch and Easter Eggs no one will ever find. On a good day, I prefer this aesthetic through the filter of an early consumer digital camera, applying a thick filter of heavy JPEG artifacting on top of a .6 megapixel image, gleefully discarding historical details as if tomorrow, and a new free month of AOL, will never come.

This week we watched a late 90s Sony Mavica commercial from New Zealand, basically the most Video Death Loop video ever.

John Hurst is your host and is an early adopter. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and falls in a hole.

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Just like with money, chicken nuggets have also been hit hard with inflation. It used to be that you could get five chicken nuggets for 99 cents at Wendy’s. Today, in 2019 time, you pay $1 for FOUR nuggets. Where did the other one go? Were we bad enough that we don’t deserve the fifth nugget AND have to pay a penny more? Are they even made of chicken now? Did we not look hard enough and realize they’re now labeled “Chickyn Nuggets”, made with “chicken-like” properties? Is this all a part of Wendy’s plan to replace the mascot of Wendy’s with new, hotter versions of their mascot? When does the hotness end? When do the chicken nuggets begin? When does the– Oh hey, Star Trek’s back on. Nice.

This week we watched a mid-90s Wendy’s Crispy Chicken Nuggets commercial on loop but were sad it was not Star Trek.

Aaron Littleton hosts and is very honest. John Hurst co-hosts and is disappointed by Frosties.

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Pants? So modern. Shirt? IG as F. Overly simplistic computer graphics that look like they came out of a Chinese AI factory for children’s YouTube video creation? Near perfection. A symmetrical ring of underwear poking out from above your belt? Ehhh – some things will never be cool.

This week we watched the “Butterfly” music video from Smile.dk! It is the most influential video of 2020, I promise you.

John Hurst hosts and changes his air filter. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and wants those pants.

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Dunkaroos loom large in our collective unconscious. Sydney or Duncan or whoever was your Dunkaroos mascot, villain of a thousand faces, almost certainly lurks in some forgotten corner of your brain. His domain is somewhere between barely suppressed animal instincts and memories obliterated by alcoholic whipped cream. He waits, cookie held at ready, waiting on his chance to dip it into the frosting of your mind.

This week we watched an early Dunkaroos commercial from 1993! A kid shaved his head for this video! Please enjoy it.

Aaron Littleton hosts and forgets a name. John Hurst co-hosts and deploys a specially trained unit.

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