April 2021

There’s something strange about pest control companies. Something a little unhinged. Maybe it’s the destruction of thousands of tiny little vermin and bugs every day that breaks a person. Maybe it’s entering house upon house looking for every fault. Maybe it’s the smell of all those chemicals mixed together, just wafting around in his truck. But every battle hardened pest control company evolves to gain two things in their lifetime: 1) A friggin’ bop of a commercial jingle and 2) A nephew who just installed Blender for the first time. If they don’t, are they really a pest control company? Nay, I say. They are mere impostors without these elements. Come back to my home when you have a commercial jingle in the Billboard Top 100! Or if you want to throw a party while I’m not there! Either is okay!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is jealous of the sizzle of Aaron’s fajitas and now wishes he ordered them! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s perfectly satisfied with the sizzle level of his fajitas.

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When the hell are we getting back from those messages? Did we ever leave? Did we get those 80s and 90s toys they were about to talk to us about! Did we ever achieve the ultimate in fantasy weaponry? We don’t know because we’re trapped in a claymation hell going bump in the night with a sentient fire hydrant that is torturing a poor dog who just happens to be around. And the man plays his guitar. The crew in the poodle skirts watch. ABC starts taking notes. It’s got some good ideas for bumpers, whether kids want them or not. You going to watch Sonic the Hedgehog or not, kid? Oh you will. Just after these messages. After. These. Messages.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s never going to get the Start button on his copy of Windows 95. John Hurst is your co-host and the last hope for the Chicago Bulls in the mid-90s?!?

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Oh, you think it’s just going to be a nostalgia trip through commercial land. They always think that. One minute you’re watching the Bubble Tape Commercial on a streaming site of your choice and the next minute you’re buying it at your gas station and remembering that chalky taste that never quite goes away. As you chew threw the six feet of partially digestible chewing material, you suddenly get a revelation of how the world works all around you. Angels roar from the heavens and get splat by cars. System of a Down lyrics play. You find out about sanctified bones and what can be made from them from now until eternity. And where you can buy them. It’s all connected. And now so are you.

Welcome to our podcast. Welcome to Video Death Loop. Enjoy your nostalgia.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s been vaccinated and feels pretty good! Aaron Littleton is your co- host this week and he too has been vaccinated but feels bad! Go get vaccinated!

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You’re at the hottest restaurant in town. You think. You’re not sure if your friend who swears by the place said it was on the first or second floor but you’re there. A decision has to be made. Surely, if they’re in the same building, they’re both equally good, right? You make a decision. It’s the first floor you go. There’s no server that you see. You see a bunch of tables. Some blueberries without a plate to call home. People on the floor begging for the dear lords above to bless them with a pittance of chicken soup for their soul. Others are tapping with brooms harshly on the ceiling. Yelling. Rioting. The turmoil is infection. You know you’re in the right place. You grab a broom. It’s time to get those scraps.

Also, you’re never going to trust a damn video book trailer ever again.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and 5 AM is much too late to enter that late night diner. John Hurst is your co-host and the forbidden hash brown toppings beckon.

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Your abs need a shape! Any shape! And you need to find the perfect way to do nothing while doing that! What if I said I had that and can still make you terrified to do small menial tasks while doing so? Then I have the Hawaii Chair just for you! Imagine a chair with barely the usefulness of sitting down. Now imagine if it was spinning like a carnival ride the entire time. It can be yours if you want! All you need is to go back to 2008 and tell yourself about it! And then, if your past self doesn’t say “No” immediately, you’re basically there! Get with the future! The past of the future! It’s the Hawaii Chair!

John Hurst is your co-host this week and he’s got a devious trap for Mr. Bond involving the Hawaii Chair. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s been upgraded with the most recent version of the co-host software used by podcasters everywhere!

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Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!