April 2022

The 90s were a time. Some humans experienced it and it was okay! Other humans did not and that is okay too. Just know that during that time we had a song by Rednex blaming a Cotton-Eye Joe for not being married some long time ago. The good news is that the 00’s also could experience their dismay towards Cotton-Eye Joe, as long as they were inside a fallout shelter. And singing into a light bulb. That’s all they have in the future. Let them have it. We aren’t going to experience that time and it’s okay. Captain Jack will be there to guide us towards the light, though.

John Hurst is your co-host and he is sad that Crazy Frog is Twitter dead. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s getting the special High School ring made.

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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~~~~OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–

Aaron Littleton is your host and he’s getting drunk off news gift chocolate liquers. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s incensed by the size of Cheez-Its(tm.)

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Hey everyone! Do you have your copy of Mortal Kombat 3 yet? How about the movie? The action figure? The animated direct-to-video show? The stage show? The cookbook? Well, come with us to E3 1995 and be Hype(tm) for Content(tm)! We have all the content! What’s the internet? We barely know about it! It might not even be that big of a deal! Buy our strategy guide instead! Find a morning star! Learn a martial art with dragons on it! Get lost at the mall with the morning star and be escorted out by security! Only then can you truly know what Mortal Kombat fever is all about!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s ready to incite the incantation. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has a sandwich suggestion for you.

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Ah, yes, the woods! Where nature and vampires co-exist as one. Humans may think they control the earth, but no sirree bob! Only a vampire knows the hard work you have to put into the earth. Raising raccoons, shrinking horses, spending an inordinate amount of time in the outhouse. Yes, we vampires know the earth better than we know ourselves. Why, we even used to bury gold out here, somewhere. I think. I need to go back and check. That was three hearts ago. It was when that movie with the fake vampires that was very popular was in the nickelodeon. They didn’t have one horse in it, I don’t think? I watched 30 minutes of it. I was too busy taking care of my tiny horses.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s pretty sure he won’t be at his high school reunion. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s concerned about a Lee Greenwood sighting.

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Behold! Look upon your trash bags and despair at their quality! They are not Hefty brand trashbags so they are INFERIOIR in the eyes of God and all that he holds before him as good and pure. You will not be chosen in the rapture. Nay, he will clean you up in his Hefty-branded trash bag and throw you in the bowels of hell themselves. There, you will have one friend only, a Rat King you cannot get away from. You won’t be able to decide if the Rat King is one friend of many friends because you’ll be screaming. Please enjoy!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s not going to go look in the tall grass. Aaron Littleon is your co-host and he needs to find a good deal on a snow shovel.

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