John Hurst

S5:E20 – Zoobooks (original commercial)

Twelve issues of animals! Twelve of them! Can you name them all?

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and That’s the promise of Zoobooks where you are going to learn about these specific animals or die trying. If you survive, you get a cool tiger poster, thee centerpiece to any elementary school child’s room. If you don’t, well, your parents got 6 more sweet issues about camels to sift through. And this new copy of Lamborghini Tigerposter’s new licensed game to play they got for your birthday. Hey, he looks way older than he should be on this title screen. Weird. Ah well. Animals!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got a list of animals he will at least try to learn about. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s trying to find the rare actually legal Video CD.

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S5:E19 – Dancing Baby Screensaver. 1996 (original music)

o/~ AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH! HOOKED ON A FEELING! This baby is dancing! And it is called a meme! Though we didn’t know it yet! And some other words right here!”

Honestly, I don’t know what else to say about this. It’s a baby. it’s dancing. It was on a hit TV show for an episode and people talked about it. Now we’re talking about it. On loop. Forever. Or until the episode ends. Maybe not! Maybe we’re still talking about it right now. As you’re listening to this episode. Don’t tell the Welch’s Corporation. Definitely don’t tell the Welch Corporation.

John Hurst is your host this week and he is looking for his Black & Decker hair care hardware. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s looking for a way to get that free jam!

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S5:E18 – Melrose Place Theme

Melrose Place! It’s a place near Beverly Hills, 90210! It has people! Sexy people! Do they know the people from the show ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’? Let’s hope not, if that want to survive to the next season! Always stopping the music and re-assuring the audience that maybe they won’t die in a horrible firey accident at the end of the episode. All this as the smooth soft rock starts and stops with their sick, pillow-soft solos. Is that Melrose Place? We’re not sure! But we’re pretty sure Ford sponsors it. Come listen to us watch people turning and looking sexy!

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S5:E17 – Reno Pest Control – Catseye’s Best in the West!

There’s something strange about pest control companies. Something a little unhinged. Maybe it’s the destruction of thousands of tiny little vermin and bugs every day that breaks a person. Maybe it’s entering house upon house looking for every fault. Maybe it’s the smell of all those chemicals mixed together, just wafting around in his truck. But every battle hardened pest control company evolves to gain two things in their lifetime: 1) A friggin’ bop of a commercial jingle and 2) A nephew who just installed Blender for the first time. If they don’t, are they really a pest control company? Nay, I say. They are mere impostors without these elements. Come back to my home when you have a commercial jingle in the Billboard Top 100! Or if you want to throw a party while I’m not there! Either is okay!

John Hurst is your host this week and he is jealous of the sizzle of Aaron’s fajitas and now wishes he ordered them! Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s perfectly satisfied with the sizzle level of his fajitas.

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S5:E16 – ABC ‘After These Messages’ Saturday Morning Bumpers

When the hell are we getting back from those messages? Did we ever leave? Did we get those 80s and 90s toys they were about to talk to us about! Did we ever achieve the ultimate in fantasy weaponry? We don’t know because we’re trapped in a claymation hell going bump in the night with a sentient fire hydrant that is torturing a poor dog who just happens to be around. And the man plays his guitar. The crew in the poodle skirts watch. ABC starts taking notes. It’s got some good ideas for bumpers, whether kids want them or not. You going to watch Sonic the Hedgehog or not, kid? Oh you will. Just after these messages. After. These. Messages.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s never going to get the Start button on his copy of Windows 95. John Hurst is your co-host and the last hope for the Chicago Bulls in the mid-90s?!?

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