John Hurst

S5:E10 – “Going Bananas” TV Opening

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It’s time to go to sleep, engineer! Get to the back to the caboose, where you sleep, I think. They didn’t pay for that insurance for nothing! And if they did, well, why did they do that?! While you’re going back there, tell them about our in-transit entertainment, which is nothing but the opening to the Hanna-Barbera Live Action Sitcom “Going Bananas” on loop until they can’t take it anymore. Keep them watching until they fight on top of the train like we know everyone secretly wants to do! We can’t keep them off the roof these days, you know! All pretending the terrorists or wendigos or what have you. Say, you’re not a wendigo, right? Didn’t eat any human flesh recently? Well, good. You know we have to check for that. Amtrak told us to. It’s in the employee video! Wendigo? Just say no!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he has bird questions! John Hurst is your co-host and he’s very tired at the zoo.

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S5:E9 – HCRHS Breakdance Club Commercial

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It’s 2:04 in the afternoon. It’s time to start getting ready to go home from school. Or… Is it? Maybe you put on your sweatband. Maybe you put on your dancing gloves. Maybe you have the whole suit to go with it! The breakdance suit. Because you’re part of the Breakdance Club at your local high school and it’s time to GET SERIOUS. FOR BREAKDANCING. It’s the only thing stopping you from getting a 4.0 GPA somehow. Clubs are that serious. You’re going to get some serious legal rights to stream various things and you’re going for the high bar. You’re going to be doing all the flares, all the spins, all the things they taught you on that discarded VHS tape of Breakin’ you found at the dumpster of your Hollywood Video. It’s all on the line. So get to steppin’, fool!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s trying to work up to get free NFL Broadcasting rights. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has consulted a representative to make sure co-hosting duties are all up to date.

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S5:E8 – Fushigi Ball Commercial

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It’s the night shift again. It’s time for you to close up. It was a busy day at your Arby’s franchise, but you feel like the service you gave was at least worth a “3” on the Customer Satisfaction Survey. Heck, maybe it was even a “4”! You’re satisfied. Still, the stress of the day builds up. You get out your Fushigi Magic Gravity ball and start relaxing straight away. Within it’s therapeutic chrome shell, you see the infinite masses of space sprawl before you. With a flick of the wrist, even first time users can control mere galaxies at their fingertips. It’s a good feeling. A powerful feeling. You start practicing the moves you learned on your Fushigi Magic Ball DVD, starting with the Prayer’s Cross. You hear a bell ring. It’s time to clock out.  Time to head to the old slicer!

It will make sense when you listen to the episode. Maybe.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s building up his anti-bacterial pool of nothing but Fushigi Magic Balls. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s writing up his Fushigi Magic Ball related light novel.

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S5:E7 – Subway’s Uncharted 3 TV Promo

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The Sandwich Artist beckons. Come. Enter the lair of magic and protein. Become filled with wonder about the amount of carbs and vegetable-based products in this laboratory of food. You are welcomed here. You and your hunger. We know why you have arrived in this nexus of hunger and salvation. It was not by choice. It was fate. See, we knew you’d be here. You saw the Uncharted 3 Subway ad with Nathan Drake on the television and you thought “boy, I guess I could have a sandwich sometime soon” and that sometime soon is right now, video gamer.  That leads us to the point. Pick out your protein. Is it the meatball sub? Of course it is. I knew it all along. The question remains though: What goes on it? This is where you can decide the fate of the free world. For  at least 30 minutes. Any longer and it’s going to get real soggy. Act quick. Act fresh. Subway.

John Hurst is your host this week and he doesn’t want any of that cardboard cheese on top of his bread. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he doesn’t care for John’s decision about cardboard cheese on top of bread.

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S5:E6 – Sahara Movie Trailer

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Matthew McConaughey! A man of action! Romance! The movies! He’s been in it all! But has he been in the Sahara? Yes, actually. He has been, in a movie no one can actually remember seeing but everyone thinks was kind of alright! Was he finding gold? Yeah, sure, maybe. Was he doing the action? All of it! Was he needing it to survive because it’s the only thing allowing him to still live and he’s got to find more faster and faster? Wait, hold on, don’t go yet! I still have 15 seconds to go on this elevator pitch and we’re not getting to the next floor anytime soon. Anyway, it’s a trilogy so I know you’re seeing those dollar signs, Paramount! Get Penelope Cruz right now!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he wants to start some beef! Hurst is your co-host and he has a proposal for Sony’s new anime streaming acquisitions.

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