You can tell us a story anyway you like. You can weave you tale and flourish it with the most fantastic language. You can win prize after prize. But we bet none of it equals the saga that is “Horse kicks tree, farts on dog then runs away.” Not even Hemmingway would dare approach such a startling tale. But Video Death Loop has. We’re doing it for the future children. They can thank us in their own time. Don’t let your neural-english teacher-bot tell you there is symbolism in something there isn’t. You will know the truth now! But beware; the knowledge you see will set you free, but you will also wail in what you cannot have! Enjoy!!!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s Golf Cart Certified(tm). Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he has a dire proclamation to declare to the future digital citizens.

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Vine was the perfect place to go to watch videos of people falling stairs. That’s why they had to get rid of it. That’s why we’re stuck in the social media migration we’re in now. If we had Vine still none of us would be dealing with that. We’d just be dealing with the sheer amount of injuries we all would have from trying to fall down steps and making Bad Idea Ramen. We’d all have our degrees in Haunting and life would be a utopia. But no, it had to go away. We had to live a normal life. A life outside of six seconds. Tragedy. Pure, Greek tragedy.

Anyway, don’t eat our ramen recipe, for the love of Vine.

Aaron is your host this week and he’s selling certificates from beyond the grave (Your grave, not his; Don’t be silly.) John is your co-skeleton and he’s thankful for that trash by his front door after all.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED™.

Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!

You’re working for the Middle State Anime Convention Trading Company. You got a fresh supply of Love Hina‘s taken from Minnesota you’re sending downstream to St. Louis and you get a 10% bonus if it’s out before the imports start making their way to the dockside dealer halls. Life is hard, but it has its ups and down. For every Mazinger there’s a Chargeman Ken, as they say in the industry. Oh so you think they might say. You haven’t stepped off the boat in 20 years. You adjust your reading glasses to read the yellow text at the bottom of the screen. You hope Keitaro chooses Konno. This is the life you lead and you let noone tell you otherwise.

John Hurst is your host today and he’s not going to relive his AMV-making past. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s just an ooolllllllld captain on the river just a-rolling.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED™.

Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!

It’s the post Thanksgiving gathering with your friends from high school. You’re tired of the family that made you leave the town so it’s time to leave them again and see the real reason why you return. That gang’s all here. You smile and grab a Brand Beer from the Brand Cooler. Life is good. Rock Band is setup but no one is playing. The song on the screen is a 30 second loop of “Maps”.

“Hey, how come no one is playing?” you ask?

“It’s because we’ll have to unlock all the songs again.” one replies, looking for a discarded red solo cup that definitely wasn’t theirs earlier in the night.

“Well, we can do that! Come on, everyone!” you reply, crushing the can with one hand and walking towards the microphone. No one moves. “Oh come on, it’ll be fun!” you try to convince them. They are unmoved, far more interested in what appeared to be a rudimentary game of beer pong from other discarded red cups.

“Well, fine, I can do this myself!” you say, grabbing both guitars. You’re going to be the star of the night for this. It’s time to enact the plan. You just know the drumsticks go last.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he is graded on a 437 question system. John Hurst is your at max 25% co-hurst and he has to sit furthest from the Apple II.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED™.

Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!

Did you know that Staples has a new logo? Like, three years ago? You didn’t. Don’t lie. I didn’t. I driven by a staples every day this entire time and haven’t noticed it. Because it’s a Staples. But these people did. And clapped. Probably because it’s their job. Probably because they’re fans. We may never know. We just know it’s a great place to buy average pens. But what if we need to go… Deeper?

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s made an enemy of the wrong subreddit. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he’s going to burn that cinema popcorn one way or another.

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This episode is supported by Manscaped! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code VDL at Manscaped.com. Unlock your confidence and always use the right tools for the job with MANSCAPED™.

Ask us questions at questions@videodeathloop.com!