S5:E8 – Fushigi Ball Commercial

It’s the night shift again. It’s time for you to close up. It was a busy day at your Arby’s franchise, but you feel like the service you gave was at least worth a “3” on the Customer Satisfaction Survey. Heck, maybe it was even a “4”! You’re satisfied. Still, the stress of the day builds up. You get out your Fushigi Magic Gravity ball and start relaxing straight away. Within it’s therapeutic chrome shell, you see the infinite masses of space sprawl before you. With a flick of the wrist, even first time users can control mere galaxies at their fingertips. It’s a good feeling. A powerful feeling. You start practicing the moves you learned on your Fushigi Magic Ball DVD, starting with the Prayer’s Cross. You hear a bell ring. It’s time to clock out.  Time to head to the old slicer!

It will make sense when you listen to the episode. Maybe.

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s building up his anti-bacterial pool of nothing but Fushigi Magic Balls. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s writing up his Fushigi Magic Ball related light novel.

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S5:E7 – Subway’s Uncharted 3 TV Promo

The Sandwich Artist beckons. Come. Enter the lair of magic and protein. Become filled with wonder about the amount of carbs and vegetable-based products in this laboratory of food. You are welcomed here. You and your hunger. We know why you have arrived in this nexus of hunger and salvation. It was not by choice. It was fate. See, we knew you’d be here. You saw the Uncharted 3 Subway ad with Nathan Drake on the television and you thought “boy, I guess I could have a sandwich sometime soon” and that sometime soon is right now, video gamer.  That leads us to the point. Pick out your protein. Is it the meatball sub? Of course it is. I knew it all along. The question remains though: What goes on it? This is where you can decide the fate of the free world. For  at least 30 minutes. Any longer and it’s going to get real soggy. Act quick. Act fresh. Subway.

John Hurst is your host this week and he doesn’t want any of that cardboard cheese on top of his bread. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he doesn’t care for John’s decision about cardboard cheese on top of bread.

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S5:E6 – Sahara Movie Trailer

Matthew McConaughey! A man of action! Romance! The movies! He’s been in it all! But has he been in the Sahara? Yes, actually. He has been, in a movie no one can actually remember seeing but everyone thinks was kind of alright! Was he finding gold? Yeah, sure, maybe. Was he doing the action? All of it! Was he needing it to survive because it’s the only thing allowing him to still live and he’s got to find more faster and faster? Wait, hold on, don’t go yet! I still have 15 seconds to go on this elevator pitch and we’re not getting to the next floor anytime soon. Anyway, it’s a trilogy so I know you’re seeing those dollar signs, Paramount! Get Penelope Cruz right now!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he wants to start some beef! Hurst is your co-host and he has a proposal for Sony’s new anime streaming acquisitions.

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S5:E5 – I Wanna Shasta 1983 Vintage Commercial

What the hell is Cola? We don’t know! We don’t have access to the internet in this business room. It’s against corporate policy! We have a white board, some markers that are half dry and the most powerful tool we have at our disposal: Our minds! Now, let’s make some circles (use the green markers) open up a case of Shasta in all its different flavors (Also use the green Shasta) and let’s get to work! Now… Who has the Finnish book of epic poems on you? Hands in the air!

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s writing some laws for Kentucky! Aaron Littleton is your co-host this week and he has to go to the United Kingdom to settle a conflict.

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S5:E4 – 130万人いくまでやめられない縄跳び (Inugami Korone)

You gotta make that content! Everyone’s doing it these days! If you don’t have a personal brand, you might as well be Personally Damned ™! You can hear this and more on my self-help audio cassette “Jumping Ropes Through Life”, which has been used by many successful people! Take virtual youtuber Korone Inugami, for instance! Here she is jumping rope! On the internet! What will they think of next? The next person thinking could be… YOU. Or could IT? Start today!

Also, this episode we send a meme to die in the sun, but only because the meme wanted to.

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