You say your sick and you need to stay home from school today, but everyone knows what you’re really after. It’s time to enjoy that treat denied to us in our youth: Unlimited soup and crackers, a warm blanket, the chance to play Final Fantasy 8 and finish it before your friends and watch a whole episode  the Price is Right because nothing else is on! Let Bob Barker be your guide into a hellish world of manufacturer suggested retail prices as you hope that maybe this time they’ll finally play Safe Cracker. You won’t talk about it with your school friends, but they too yearn for the luxury you are experience. You are among gods now. It’s just you, the audience, Rod Roddy and Bob Barker on a magical adventure. Tell ’em what they’ve won!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s got a larger than usual wine glass. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s looking for tigers.

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It’s DragonCon 2006. You are thankful you chose to the timejump into 2020 and get that much needed relaxation before, but the 2020 you is ready for 2006. Armed with your extra knowledge of household cleaners and phone scripts, you can’t really use this in terms of your enjoyment of the convention, but you feel like it made you at least a little wiser. You navigate the crowd and were glad you made the call to pre-register to get the shorter line. It means you have much more time to get a Dairy Queen Chicken Tender Basket than you would have. The 2006 You would not have appreciated this luxury, but the 2020 one certain does. If only you can remember what happened this year of the con. All of them are a blur now. But they’re your blur. Number 2. Woo-Hoo.

John Hurst is your host this week and he’s got a hard water problem. Aaron Littleton is your co-host and he bought way too many shoes.

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I have never been so happy as the people in soap commercials. Feeling good? Sure. Feeling relaxed? Maybe! But never to the point of the freak out psycho energy that they display in using a single bar of a corporate branded soap. What’s in it? What’s the secret? Is it illegal? Does it need to be done in a club bathroom in an 80s action movie? Does anyone in this commercial know what’s really going on? We’re about to find out!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week, but don’t quote quote quote quote him on it. John Hurst is your co-host and he wants a ride in the Blood Truck.

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Garfield likes a lot of food. This is considered one of his many good traits that he has and makes him a timeless classic. He will sell you all of the food in the word too. Fruit Snacks, Cereal, Breakfast Bars in Embassy Suites, all of it. Even Ravioili for some reason! All but the lone and holy Lasagna, which he will not sell out to any one living or otherwise. You hear that, Stouffer’s?! Go Stouff your lasagna in the frozen food aisle of your local grocery store because it’s where it needs to be otherwise it will good bad! Because you can’t wait forever for Garfield. Garfield’s taken a turn and he’s not coming back for you anytime soon. Inquire within!

John  Hurst hosts this week and is cleaning Jim Davis’ pasta-stained hands of this. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and it’s going to go on his permanent record.

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It’s cursed! Or mysterious! I don’t know, the History Channel claims both when it comes to The Curse of Oak Island but they’re definitely leaning hard into the “Curse” portion of the show. We aren’t so sure! There’s a big tunnel and some talk about the Templars and there’s a school bus shot for what appears to be no reason? The bus doesn’t go to the mystery! Or the curse! Two places where I would want a bus in a History channel to go (Outside of maybe a history museum, but that’s out of budget for us at A&E Networks. No no no, we can’t do that here!)

Anyway, we watch the mystery! On loop!

Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s opening his mouth for fresh hot steam straight from the oven. John Hurst is your co-host and he’s opening his mouth for your local dentist.

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