Have you seen Speed 2? We sure haven’t. I mean, we’ve seen the trailer yes, but the movie, not so much. Why? What was it about a franchise that lost one of its temporal B-listers and replaced him with boats (ships?) that makes even the truly uncultured such as us lose interest?

This week we watched the Speed 2 trailer on loop, but no more or less than 55 times!

Aaron Littleton hosts and buys some soap! John Hurst co-hosts and wears some pants!

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Where were you when the new Sakura Wars theme song dropped? Were you watching online? Were you in the audience? Were you, most horrifyingly of all, on…stage? Yeeeesh.

This week we watched the New Sakura Wars theme song reveal video on loop! Well, mostly anyway.

John Hurst hosts and trims and beard. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and is not very prescient.

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Whatever you do, do not bing shiny hands. Don’t do it. It’s…it’s not good. Don’t turn off safe search. What are you doing. I said don’t do that. STOP STOP STOP

YOU DON’T NEED TO DO THIS

It’s an intermission! We’re in our respective homes. There’s not really a host and there’s no video. But there is us, talking about the same thing as everybody else so, you know.

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I want to tell you about these so-called “humans”, with their so-called “boats”. They dangle…dangle’s the right word right? They dangle worms, the juiciest you’ve ever seen, right down here in our faces. IN OUR FACES! But let me tell you friends, these worms are not what they seem. Oh no, not at all. Not at all. These worms are tricks. Turn around, listen to me, just turn around and swim. SWIM FOR ALL YOU ARE WORTH! Swim, you idiots! Back after these fine sponsors.

This week we watched some fishing show bloopers! These fishing show bloopers, actually. You should too!

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and sees a statue. John Hurst co-hosts and fishes on Twitch.

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What’s your aesthetic? My aesthetic is essentially the Matrix DVD menu: an endlessly looping SD video of overwrought motion graphics hiding special features no one will ever watch and Easter Eggs no one will ever find. On a good day, I prefer this aesthetic through the filter of an early consumer digital camera, applying a thick filter of heavy JPEG artifacting on top of a .6 megapixel image, gleefully discarding historical details as if tomorrow, and a new free month of AOL, will never come.

This week we watched a late 90s Sony Mavica commercial from New Zealand, basically the most Video Death Loop video ever.

John Hurst is your host and is an early adopter. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and falls in a hole.

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