Sure, you’ve watched the trailer yourself. Sure, you’ve watched about a dozen YouTube reactions to the trailer. Sure, you’ve read about a hundred mid-brow thinkpieces about how the YouTube reaction videos to the trailer are contributing to a culture of hedgehog fastness disparity, or like, something.

Well now you’re going to listen to US watch that same damned Sonic the Hedgehog trailer on loop ALL BECAUSE John couldn’t keep his yap shut. This is happening. This is real.

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and has his duties TRAMPLED UPON. John Hurst co-hosts and STICKS HIS NOSE WHERE IT DOESN’T BELONG.

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You’re about to buy an energy drink and suddenly, woo! A flash of light, the smell of vitamins and there he is: Ric Flair. He’s got a possibly-opened bottle of Fuel In A Bottle energy drink and he’s forcing it into your hand. Now he’s taking your wallet and teleporting away, leaving a puff of smoke and lots of questions. In the distance you hear a last, lonely “Woo!”.

This week we watched the Ric Flair Fuel In A Bottle Energy Commercial. Watch it and get robbed!

John Hurst hosts and takes some vitamins. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and listens to a patriotic song.

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Somewhere deep in what looks like a strip mall in Orlando, there is a hallway. It is primarily beige, an unremarkable place with flecked vinyl tiles on the floor. In the hall there is a doorway, also beige, also unremarkable. There is no sign on the door, no number. If you ask one of the building’s few employees about the door, they’ll tell you they don’t know what’s in there. They don’t have the key. No one has they key, they’ll tell you. They just leave the door alone. It’s not their problem, and it shouldn’t be yours either. Please leave.

Yet, if you press your ear against the door you can hear something like breathing. Wait long enough and maybe, just maybe, you’ll hear a throaty “Oh yeeeah”.

We watched a temple run from Legends of the Hidden Temple this week! Put the monkey together and join us!

Aaron Littleton hosts and wears weird yellow pants! John Hurst co-hosts and gets busted down to the Blue Barracudas.

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The Double Cheeseburger! It’s back! It’s back! Tell the world! Ninety-nine cents only! Your joy is now complete! For one penny less than a dollar you can get two patties with cheese! Commodity prices are low! So is the price on your life!

This week, we watched a McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger commercial on loop. It’s back!

John Hurst hosts and eats hamburgers for America. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and doesn’t want your number.

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Who is the Boss? Is it Angela (Judith Light), who works as an advertising executive and exhibiting the sheer raw power of 80s Shoulder Pads to a devastating level? Is it Tony Danza, who is just playing a character named Tony in the show and didn’t have the time in his stardom to learn a second name? Is it Alyssa Milano’s character, who is definitely plotting to escape this sitcom dimension? It it producer Bud Wiser, power hungry from the magic from his bag of insane contracts? Is it Ross, the Boss who owns the “Ross the Boss” Hair Care Franchise  that populates strip malls across America? Or is it, as we all suspected, the Ninth Dimensional Being?

Folks, maybe it’s all of the above. We’re looping the Who’s The Boss Theme. Join us, won’t you?

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