In the sleepy town of Encino, a secret lays buried: the secret of the juice. Some may wish to horde the juice and some may want to drink the juice, but both are the wrong way to approach the juice. The juice will destroy those not ready for its power and to tame the juice, one must wheeze the juice. So, child, you must learn. Learn to wheeze the juice, then you shall be king of Encino.

This week we studied hard to wheeze the juice while watching the Encino Man Trailer.

Aaron Littleton hosts and makes mouth noises. John Hurst co-hosts and enjoys some nugs.

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Man, those Brendan Fraser Mummy movies were pretty good, huh? Surely there’s no increasingly less relevant series of spin-offs that could detract from their inherent quality. Right? What about a prequel starring Dwayne Johnson as a goofy CG monster? What about a Godsmack music video based on the Dwayne Johnson prequel only briefly featuring pre-recorded clips of Mr. The Rock himself?

That’s…where we are. Here’s that video. Watch it if you haven’t had your fill of the early 2000s today.

John Hurst hosts and tries out a new managerial style. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and reminisces about facial hair.

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Close up, Danny DeVito. He is crying. Slowly the camera zooms in on a single pore. A tear, now massive at such a small focus, erupts into the scene, leaving a smeary, moistened trail. Now the camera zooms back and the wet epidermis is the ocean, home to a host of aquatic Danny DeVitos which crest the waves, sailing briefly, magnificently over the ocean before splashing back down again. “Pika…chu” one squeaks.

Welcome to episode 100.

This week we watched the POKÉMON Detective Pikachu trailer on loop as long as we could.

Aaron Littleton hosts and is vindicated. John Hurst co-hosts and leaves the room.

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There’s a lot of John Cena media out there. Some of it is what passes for good in this wretched year of 2018. Some of it…less so. This commercial is the latter. Three John Cenas engage in a dangerously patriotic Backstreet Boys pantomime to push liquor and we are both aghast and mesmerized.

If you need to see it for yourself, it’s here.

John Hurst hosts and asks an AI questions. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and calls the FBI.

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When you’ve got 15 seconds of precious airtime to fill but a total of four seconds of actual content, you do what you have to do. The Head On people decided to loop those precious four seconds over and over, creating one of the most weirdly memorable but understandably irritating commercials of the mid-2000s.

We watched this Head On commercial on loop! Apply directly to your eyes!

Aaron Littleton hosts and eats sharp things. John Hurst co-hosts and eats a Happy Meal.

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