Shoney’s is one of the pillars that modern western civilization is built upon. Sure, you may scoff in 2018 at the idea of a late night buffet bar, but somewhere deep in the recesses of your mind, far from your smart phone and your Amazon Prime account, where your lizard brain still jumps at shadows, that stalwart purveyor of fine fried food serves as a last line of defense against post-apocalyptic societal breakdown. Plus, the hot fudge cakes are pretty tasty.

In honor of this, we watched a 1980s Shoney’s seafood commercial.

Aaron Littleton hosts this week and is distressed by Captain D’s. John Hurst co-hosts and is covered in shrimp.

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Karate Kid was perhaps the apex of 90s karate mania. Sure, you had your Death Wishes and your Three Ninjas, but none of them drove their karate chops so far into our collective brains as Karate Kid. As such, it was almost inevitable that it would spin off a cartoon property about…magic trophies or something? Who knows. Not us, we only watched the cartoon’s opening theme on loop for far too long.

John Hurst hosts this week and goes to TCBY. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and wonders about hover boards.

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As popular nostalgia creeps ever closer to the late 90s, LFO’s “Summer Girls” lays in shadow as it waits to once again re-emerge into the sweet sunlight. That day rapidly approaching, its pale thin fingers flex in horrible mockery of humanity, grasping onto the rotting leaves and cold earth of the past that had become its resting place. Summer Girls will emerge with far more than crunchy pop nostalgia, however, for there, perhaps you can see it out of the corner of your eye, trails a horrible spirit, a curse if you will, that it cannot shake and will once again unleash upon the world.

Plus: Shaq Fu video game records!

Aaron Littleton hosts and wonders about Drop Bears! John Hurst co-hosts and taunts an old gypsy woman!

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Hey everyone! Unfortunately, all attempts to have a new episode ready to be digested by your ears (Ew) failed this week. It was a number of circumstances but I think we all can solely blame it on the singular idea of TIME REVENGE. Time is sick of us trying to loop it and tried to take things into its own hands. However, not even time itself can keep us down as we move to our backup plan: The Aaron and John archives! This week, we dive into a cut of Aaron and John Watch the Hercules Theme on Loop for an Hour! Let’s all learn about monster budgeting and Lisa Frank folders together!

We will be back next with a brand new episode! Until then, let Kevin Sorbo guide you.

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You stare into the void. You press “Like”. The “Like” spirals toward the center of the void, stretching and elongating as if drawn to the infinite mass at the heart of a black hole. Time ticks by slowly as this happens, but its effects are no less potent. You try and engage with the void, to “Laugh”, to “Cry”, to “Follow” but each and every digital sentiment is inexorably gobbled up by the darkness.

This is the future and we are to blame. It is not too late to change this, but the void coughs up a profane simulacrum of our youths, an image meant to placate us, to soothe us to inaction. Calmed we are, and we praise and love the void for another day. So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

Unrelated, we watched the Ready Player One trailer this week. Enjoy.

John Hurst hosts this week and banks his rupees! Aaron Littleton co-hosts and instead prospects for gold!

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